Priorities

Hey guys,

This is just a quick note to say I am, indeed, still alive.  I started school back up in August and am now in the process of writing my Master's Thesis - so auxiliary writing is just not happening, but I thought I would send out a quick "Big Question" for you.  Here you go...

What is the one thing that you tell yourself is a priority, but you are not motivated enough to actually do it?

Big Questions - Time Machine

This is maybe my favorite big question yet. Thanks to my wife and Back to the Future for the inspiration.  Remember to answer honestly!

If you had a time machine that could go either back in time or into the future, but you could only choose one way, which would you choose and why?

Big Questions Part 2: E.T.

Here is our second time looking at big questions.  Remember I want you to take a minute to answer honestly to yourself and if you're brave in a comment.

Warning:  Today will make you think a bit outside of the box (well for some of you).

Question: If you found out today that aliens (extra terrestrials, outer space creatures, extras in Will Smith movies) truly existed, how would that affect your faith? 

I'm really looking forward to hearing your responses, feel free to take a few minutes or hours to think about it before throwing down a response.  

How take transition head on.

Moving to a small town has been an adjustment.  Some things are hard to get used to.  For example, why in a store called Dollar General are tortilla chips $3.50?  Any change that we experience creates unpredictable consequences and sometimes we simply cannot be prepared.  But here are a few things I've learned to make change easier.

1.  Pray

I'm a pastor and although it seems obvious I refuse to downplay the importance and necessity of prayer through change, it can literally be and has been what has gotten me and countless others through transition.

2.  Decide ahead of time that your expectations are only expectations.

False expectations are hope killers.  Sometimes we expect things that we don't deserve/ are impossible/ shouldn't be expected.  Don't let false expectations lead to early burnout.

Ex:  I thought playing golf in small town would be inexpensive and that I would do it often.  Turns out it is just as expensive and I haven't played once.  Although disappointed, I have decided it's no reason to pack back up and move.  (Ok, poor example... to some.)


3.  Enter the transition asking: "What can I do to serve this change?"  Not: "How can this change serve me?"

If Alissa and I moved to Nebraska asking how this move will make our lives better than we have missed God's intention completely.  Yes God wants to bless us - but change will lead to failure and/or sadness if born from selfish desire.

Phil 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves"

Ever since we arrived here I have noticed this transition has been different and better than most previous big changes and after a few weeks I realized why.  In the past every time big change has happened in my life I've been looking out for my own interests; getting my degree, getting my first job, etc.  Not all of these were intentionally selfish, but to some degree they were.  During this transition, however, I have been careful to ask God not what's in it for me, but how can I serve this community as best I can.  Not "what do I get" but "what can I give," and somehow having an outward focused attitude makes all the inward difficulties seem like less of a big deal.   That doesn't mean it's always fun or easy - but it is all worth it.

 What are some things that have helped you make it through transitions?

Big Questions

I'm starting a new blog segment today.  These will be quick and either thought provoking, challenging, or neither (I don't like to get too tied down by things I have said that I later realize were dumb). 

As I said these blog posts will be short - but I do want you to honestly answer to yourself, or if you're really brave - in a comment.  so... HERE WE GO.

Question 1:  If you went to church today... were you more excited to go to it or get through it?

The great mysteries of summer

This time of year several things happen that I don't really understand...

1. Old men let go of their inhibitions and mow their lawns in blue jean cut-off shorts, tennis shoes, and nothing else.
2. People spend hundreds of dollars to watch lights explode in the sky.
3. Entire towns crowd on to a couple of city blocks to see poorly decorated hay wagons.

Now when you take each of these things down to the basic truths about them they don't make sense, however I believe that each has a redeeming factor.


1. The old man gets a no tan lines, so when he hits the bingo hall later he's ready to go.
2. Fireworks provides a way for whole families and even communities to do something together - in America we choose something that involved blowing things up.
3.  Parades have free candy...  that's it.


When we don't understand things its easy to judge them.  Since we have moved to a new culture we constantly see new things, things that we don't understand.  It's our choice whether we embrace them or make fun of them.  (Honestly, I have been known to do both simultaneously.)   The moral of this blog is not to judge a book by it's cover - or an old man by the length of his daisy dukes.

6 Benefits to living in a small (nearly non-existant) town.

Hi everyone, it has been a while!  We are getting settled into our new home in Nebraska and so I thought I would share some of the highlights of moving to a small town.  Here they are...

1.  I can walk to work without sweating

2. I'm easily one of the coolest guys here (of slightly balding married 28 years olds with two kids who was born in Wisconsin).

3. We've already saved half a years salary by being 30 miles from the nearest Starbucks.

4.  People wave to you and it's not because they mistook you for someone else.

5.  There is zero guilt for not working out at the gym because there is no gym.

6.  I can finally buy a pair of denim overalls without being judged. (I won't, but I like the option.)


  Can you think of any I missed?

Coloring for Joy

"So I was sitting there coloring a Disney princess... I mean playing with my lovely daughter Elleyana and..."

I'm going to be honest, I love being a dad for lots of reasons.  One is that after years of being "too old" I get to do all kinds of great stuff again.  I go down slides, I play with toys, and I get to color without being judged by others.  The only time I get embarrassed is when I look up from playing with plastic animals and realize that Elle had left the room about 15 minutes earlier and I am still sitting on the carpet watching princess fancypants and prince awesome fight the evil monster Beiberfever. 

Almost everyone, at one time or another, decides they are "too cool" or "too mature"  to do things they once loved.  I can remember the sad look in my dad's eyes the day I asked him to drop me off a little bit farther away from school, so my friends wouldn't see me give him a hug and kiss goodbye.  (If you're wondering: he kindly obliged and I kept my honor intact.)  

When I stop and look around it seems like everyone, at least in my generation, is always changing, always adapting, always trying to grow up and get to where they think they should be.  We are perpetual self-proclaimed underachievers who can't seem to get where we need to be.  There is always more and there is always better. 

There’s a great quote by John Ortberg in one of his books where he talks about this “incurable itch.”  He says: “Everybody thinks he needs one thing to make himself rich: more.”

I think there are two reasons that we aren’t finding satisfaction.

1.      We’re looking in the wrong place.

2.      We’re looking for the wrong things.

This week instead of working more hours so you can afford to buy the golf clubs you have wanted for so long, you could take out your old beat up ones and watch your son/daughter/wife accidently put a golf ball through a basement window (if you’re lucky it be will the window of your neighbor’s house who is always complaining about your lawn).  At first it may not seem so great, but it will be a fantastic story next weekend.

Or maybe you could try turning of your cell phone and computer for a day and enjoy some peace and quiet with the people that love you most - sure you might miss a hilarious joke from @dscrabeck on twitter, but let's face it, he'll have another one on Monday.

Remember, joy doesn’t come with more, it comes when you learn to be thankful for what you have.

The secret agenda of coffee creamer

Yesterday I drank my first full cup of  unsweetened coffee.   For those of you who don't drink coffee, once the sugary veil of vanilla flavored internation delight creamer is torn away, coffee tastes a lot like sanitized dirt.  The creamer just tricks you into believing it tastes good.


 I didn't start drinking coffee until I was about 23, mostly because my dad used to drink coffee this way and I thought it was disgusting.  Although the taste is not as bad as I anticipated, I am probably not ready to give up my standard watered-down caffeine boost (also known as my coffee flavored vanilla smoothie).  It was the fluff that got me to start drinking coffee, and truthfully I'd like to keep it that way.


In life we water things down when the truth (or at least admitting the truth) frightens us.  Watering things down (or in my coffee's case - sugar watering things down) is something we do when we feel guilty and want to justify ourselves. 


For example:
- "I didn't cheat, I accidently saw their answer.  What?  Should I have put down the wrong answer  because I have great eyesight?"
- "It's only a scratch, I barely hit that telephone pole."
- " I didn't forget, I refused to participate.  Valentines day is just a scam created by greeting card companies to steal the money of naive fools."


At the time it seems relatively harmless, however, watering things down can have eternal consequences.  In fact, we live in a time where we are surrounded by watered-down ideas about God and what the Bible says about Him.  In the world people water down God sometimes by saying that there is a "universal intellegence" and that there are many ways to him... or her (I just threw up a little writing that - just to be clear, not my opinion).  In the church people have watered down God and His word as well.  Things that used to be accepted as sin are now "gray areas."  To some groups, even mentioning sin makes you judgemental and proves that you don't understand how great God's grace is.


Now, I am certaintly not one to say that the Bible is always clear and easy to understand - but there are things that are not up for interpretation.  Some things are black and white.   The tricky thing is that to find out what those things are you can't read this blog - or any other blog, and please... please don't form personal opinions from reading wikipedia or watching... (I'm going to stop before I accidently offend anyone.)   The point is that whole churches and even denominations are being misled because they listen to someone's words instead reading God's word.  In Acts 17 we read:" Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."  They weren't doing this because they didn't trust Paul, they did it because they took their faith and belief seriously.  I admire a lot of pastors and teachers, but I am responsible for my relationship with God, and so there is only one source that I trust completely that I use to form my beliefs (and no, I'm not talking about twitter).

I have one disclaimer as I end:  Even wrong opinions can still have some scripture to back them up.  It can be easy to prove  your point (in your opinion) if that's all you want to do.  But we shouldn't seek to prove our already formed opinions, we should should seek to find the truth of what God's words says.   To find the truth it requires  looking at the WHOLE word of God.  The parts that sound nice and the one's that are harder to read. 

And after you've read everything, - if you still have questions read my blog (kidding, reread fifth paragraph).

My grandma made me do it

 "Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ." (1 Corinthians 11:1)

I'm stubborn.  You may disagree with me, but I don't care - because I'm even stubborn about being stubborn.  Stubbornness is something that supposedly runs in families... at least mine I'm told.  Mike got dad's height.  Kerry got dad's attention to detail.  I got dad's music ability, and all five of us received his stubbornness. 

In research for this blog I called a good friend who works at Johns Hopkins and he informed that there is currently no known "stubborn gene."  (I actually did very little research and made up this friend, but someday I think it would be cool to be able to do that.)    We do, however, pick things up from those around us who are influential.   It could be a parent, friend, coworker, neighbor, friend, or child.

It's true! If you spend a significant amount of time with anyone, whether a positive or negative influence, eventually you will probably start picking up phrases and in some situations even habits from them.

For example, after becoming a youth pastor I found myself saying things like: "Check out this sweet action."  ... I know, right?    Now in a youth pastor/ youth group situation who is the primary influencer?  Hopefully the pastor... but the influence does not just happen one way.  Both parties influence each other - it might not be planned, but it happens.

This week I want you to pay attention to influence.  First pay attention to who is watching you - who is learning from your actions and attitudes, and seeing how you respond to different good and bad situations.  And then pay attention to your influencers.  What are you doing because you were told "this is the thing to do?"  (Side note - I'm very ok with Oprah retiring.)  Whose influence is reflected in the words you say, and the attitude that you have?  Sometimes people that we haven't seen in years are still a driving force in our behavior - it may be time to kill that influence.  Pay attention because, like in the futuristic novel 1984, we are all being watched.  Well, not at all like that but...   You get it.  You get it.

Christian Chameleons

There's a show on TV right now about a "regular" family that lives in a small town in Indiana.  In this family there is a teenage girl.  This girl is all but unknown by everyone outside of her family, three or four classmates, and a few others.  It's kind of a running joke - the mom will ask a teacher or coach about Sue, and they will have no idea who she is.  Funny - right?  When it happens on the show it is so awkwardly sad that it is impossible to not feel absolute compassion for this fictional character.  The amazing thing is that, somehow, amidst being rejected by nearly all of the outside world, Sue somehow turns everything around and can truly find something bright and happy through it.  She refuses to let others influence her view on life.

I wish I was like that.  I wish I could live ignorant of the world's opinion of me and simply live the life that I'm called to live.

Sometimes I care too much about how I'm perceived by others, so I change my behavior or attitude to better match what seems appropriate.  I want everyone to like me.  But as Christians we are called to stand apart- not to be chameleons who can blend in or hide out when it's convenient.  This is difficult in itself, but the problem is that is not just the world that we hide our true selves from; it can often be other believers as well.

Our fear of rejection problem can manifest itself it two difficult ways.

1.  We don't want to be rejected because of our faith among non-believers so we hide our beliefs and have started down the path of compromising (a whole topic in itself for another time).
2.  We don't want to be rejected because of our sin among believers so we hide it and don't get the help that a community can provide.


The push an pull from these two groups of people can drive you crazy.  We are trying to hide sins from one group so they accept us, and show our sins to the other so they accept us.  This can't be right.

Is it possible for us to live an honest, transparent, and uncompromising life and not be rejected by anyone?  Maybe, maybe not - but regardless of what others think - that is the life we are all called to live.

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting what is behind I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which  God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven." - Philippians 3:13 - 14

We aren't perfect yet, but we can't allow imperfections to keep us from continuing to pursue God's working in our life.  We can't  let fear of rejection from people who question our beliefs or our weaknesses to make us lose sight of the one who accepts all who are willing to come to Him. Even though, to Him, nothing is hidden.  He sees us as we are, and still loves us.   Something powerful can happen when we allow others to see what God is doing inside of us.  The question is: Can we be a people that is willing to take the risk of rejection in order to be the light of the world?

How to become a perfect failure.

^"Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:12

If you are like me, at the completion of reading the above passage of scripture, you are probably humming "Eye of the Tiger" and have started planning your workout regimen of prayer and bible reading so that you can 'beat the bus' in life's spiritual marathon.  This is a great verse... it's an inspiring verse - but there's another verse that I believe we should always read directly following it.

 ^"And He has said to me, 'grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

This is complicated. We have two verses, both written by Paul: one speaks of striving towards perfection and the other one talks about boasting about weakness.  So are we supposed to try to be perfect or boast about weakness: both.  (Boasting, might be a bit strong here: "Hey guys, check out how angry I get!")  The point here is that we are made perfect through God's grace - it's not something we could do by our self.  We should strive to become more like Christ, but we need to realize it is not our doing.


I have been wrestling with an idea for a couple of weeks now.  What if it's because of this balance (being perfect vs. showing weakness) that the church is so often viewed as "a bunch of hypocrites" (and quite correctly sometimes)?  Maybe the problem isn't that we make mistakes - but that we so painstakingly (and unsuccessfully) try to hide them.  It's almost as if we are trying to hide the grace of God in our lives.   Instead of hiding our imperfections we should be showing how God takes them and redeems them. We do need to put sin behind us and move forward - but we should not hide the grace that God has shown us. 

We don't like scars because they are ugly and remind of us past pain, but scars also show something else - healing.   It's my opinion that we should be sharing Jesus with the world through our love, but also through our scars.   People can relate to pain, they can't relate to perfection. I am positive that no one has ever looked at me and said: "how can I reach that level of perfection?" (And for obvious reason.)  However, if I can show them the grace that Jesus has shown me in my weakness, that's different.  Grace is something that every imperfect person craves.

I have some more thoughts on this subject, but I'm interested in what you think... so let's hear it.

Remote Controlled Life

A few years ago, some good friends gave us the gift of Tivo.  Tivo changed the way we watch TV.  In the little amount of time we have to sit down and watch a show, we no longer have to settle for the junk that is currently on, or mess with VHS tapes.  I simply hit record for a particular show before it starts, and then I watch it when I want to.  I am in control. Speaking of control - the remote for Tivo is incredible.  You can pause, fast forward, rewind, and even go into slow motion with this thing.  When watching a football game, the Tivo remote gives me the capability to find out if a pass play really was a completion or not well before the officials. 

There is something dangerously compelling about control.  Once you taste it, it's hard to rely on anyone or anything else -and why would we?  If it is possible to simply choose a plan, do it the way we want, and get the results we want - why would we ever do anything different?  This is, in fact, what a lot of us try to do.  We do what we want, the way we want it done, but when we don't get the results we want everything falls apart.  We find out that maybe we aren't in control after all, and we hate it.

-We spend months trying to sell a house, or find a job, or reaching out to unsaved family members, and no matter what we do - we don't get what we want.

One of the most important passages of Scripture for me in the past few years comes from the book of James.  The author writes...

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.' Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.' (James 4:13 - 15, NASB)

The obvious message here is that we should seek God's plan instead of own, but it also teaches us something about disappointment.

Most, if not all, of our disappointments come from our own unmet expectations.  Of course there are times when we fail God, or family, or friends and we need seek forgiveness.  BUT, a lot  of our disappointment comes because we have this terrible compulsion to be in control - and we're not. 

I just re-read a part of a book where the author talks about this very thing.  He says: "I want desperately for things to go 'how they're supposed to.'  Which is another way of saying 'how I want them to,' which is another way of saying 'according to my plan" (Rob Bell, Drops like Stars). 

We all do this don't we?  The question is, why do we allow ourselves to add all of this extra stress, and disappointment, and sadness by creating plans that I can't and shouldn't try to pull off?

We need to truly say "God, I'm here.  I don't know where you're taking us, or why nothing is working out the way I thought it would, but I know that You are in control - and so I'm going to quit trying to make things happen myself and will trust that you'll bring us through."

Just one more cookie

I have a problem... it involves delicious food.  The problem is that as long as it is around I eat it.  Try as I may to eat in a more healthy fashion, if there are tasty treats to be found, soon there will not be.  There was a time in my life when I could get by eating whatever I wanted - however the clothes in my closet (that are apparently shrinking) are telling me to increase my intake of vegetables. 

This past week Alissa made some appreciation gifts that included some incredible desserts.  I have probably eaten my weight in these things... they are amazing.  My intuition tells me I need to stop (or maybe it's my belt), but I keep convincing myself that as soon as they're gone I'll start eating more healthy, but there always seems to be just one more cookie around.   I keep saying "This is the last time, then I'll be better."

We do this spiritually too.

There is that one area of our life that keeps coming back to haunt us.  We know it isn't healthy, we know that it has the potential to destroy us - but we trick ourselves into thinking that "this is the last time and then I'll stop for real."

I was talking to someone a few years back that had lost a lot of weight.  He said that it wasn't his particular diet that made him keep his weight off, but how he changed his mind set.  Instead of saying "this is the diet that I will use to lose weight," he said: "this is the way I eat now."  He simply changed the way he thought about eating.

The bible says similar things about how our life needs to change when we surrender to God.  Romans 12:2 states: "Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."  It's not enough to try to stop sinning, we are transformed when our mind is renewed - when we look at things a different way, so we can allow God to transform us.

My father-in-law once pointed out that we should all just force ourselves to eat in a more healthy way, because an hour after you eat - you aren't still savoring that delicious fried chicken, you can no longer taste it.  (If you can you probably need to brush your teeth.)   For all your taste buds know, you have just completed a giant salad.  The only difference is that now you feel guilty.  Whenever I turn down junk food for carrots, I feel pretty good about myself.  How much greater do I feel when I can turn down the one more "cookie" in my life?

The bible says a lot of things about temptation - but the most important one for us is that God will never let you be tempted more than you are able to resist.  (Also know that it is not God tempting you, ever - see James 1:13.) Temptation is an opportunity, however, for God to see if you are willing to do what you say you will do.  The good news is that God is not a boss who is floating around with a clipboard, marking off all of the things you do wrong, or all the assignments you don't finish.  He is the
Dad sitting in the fan section of the bleachers yelling "you can make it" as you approach the next hurdle.  This doesn't mean that we can make all the mistakes we want and that God overlooks our sin - but it does mean that He is on your side.

The Narcoleptic Professor

For those of you on facebook you probably know about the "suggested friends" section on your home page.  As I was reading through the various status updates yesterday I noticed that an old professor of mine was a suggested friend (and he still is).  This particular professor is now retired, and rightfully so, since he was teaching when my grandfather attended North Central.  He is probably the most famous professor at NCU, and for several reasons.  First, this guy is a spiritual bear of a man.  If you know him you are probably nodding your head knowingly.  If you don't, just picture Smokey the bear -but replace the hat with a tie and his shovel with a bible... and beat stick (he's old school).  The second reason he is well known is that for about the past 40 years (give or take 30) he has been known as the professor who can be so boring that he, quite literally, puts himself to sleep (ok, maybe it's not boredom that puts him out). 

I myself was in a class, and while standing in front of everyone listening to a presentation, my professor's eyes slowly closed and an odd buzzing noise started in his throat.  Sure enough, the old bear went into hibernation right in front of us.  Two young gentlemen sitting a few rows ahead of me looked at each other, and in an instant grabbed their things and bolted from the room.  The entire class laughed at their audacity (secretly wanting to run after them).  The laughter must have shaken the professor from his sleep because he suddenly roared back to life.  He quickly scanned the room and saw the missing seats.  He gruffly asked for the names of the two escape artists, and after receiving them said: "Well those two have just failed my class.  Make sure you do not follow in their footsteps."  What!  This guy basically failed these two guys for not wanting to stick around to watch the drool soak his tie.   It just doesn't seem fair.

Whether or not it's fair isn't what I'm interested in.  I am interested in how he reacted.  Given a difficult situation how do you react?  The truth is my old professor was most likely extremely embarrassed by his little bear-nap (he was nothing like a cat) and reacted out of his embarrassment.  We all do the same thing from time to time.  If we feel like we are being treated unfairly or taken advantage of, we snap.  The problem is that we need to be different. 

Proverbs 25:28 says: "A man who does not control his temper is like a city whose wall is broken down."  I think that if there is one way that Christians should always stand out (and rarely do), it should be how we react and respond in difficult situations.  Instead of lashing out, or blaming others, we need to remember to show love, patience, and faith.  We need to trust that everything will work out, because it will. 

Difficult situations happen all the time at work, or church, or home.  No matter how bad something is I know that God will work it out.  That's nice for me, but what about the other person?  What does my reaction to them show them about God's grace and love for us?  What does it say about my character?Why do Christians fight, scream, whine, and complain just as much as everyone else?

Instead of slandering and complaining about a certain politician - we should pray for them because we are told that they are placed in authority by God.

Instead of giving someone the evil eye in a parking lot for cutting you off - we should be quick to forgive, because seriously it's just driving.

Instead of calling the youth pastor to complain about an error - you should get him gift card, and then forgive him for greedily asking for it.


I dare you to monitor your reactions to people for one single day.  How do you react to mean people, to annoying people, to ignorant people?  Are you showing them the love, the grace, and the patience that you have been given?  Changing how you react to hard times can be a difficult process, but is necessary if we are to be the true reflection of Jesus.

New Blog

I still think blogs are weird.  I don't understand them. I don't know why we make or read them; but I really enjoy them.  This new blog won't be much different than my old blog.  In fact, the only reason I'm starting this blog is that I felt to tied down in subject matter by the previous blogs title.  The title, in my opinion, was also a little too negative sounding - and since I was hoping to encourage people through it, it seemed a bit too unwelcoming.  Although I like to read things that are a bit controversial from time to time, I probably wouldn't read a book entitled: Let me tell you why you're a bad person (actually, I probably would). Anyway, here are my current thoughts - I hope they encourage, challenge, uplift, and frighten you in appropriate amounts.