My grandma made me do it

 "Be imitators of me, as I also am of Christ." (1 Corinthians 11:1)

I'm stubborn.  You may disagree with me, but I don't care - because I'm even stubborn about being stubborn.  Stubbornness is something that supposedly runs in families... at least mine I'm told.  Mike got dad's height.  Kerry got dad's attention to detail.  I got dad's music ability, and all five of us received his stubbornness. 

In research for this blog I called a good friend who works at Johns Hopkins and he informed that there is currently no known "stubborn gene."  (I actually did very little research and made up this friend, but someday I think it would be cool to be able to do that.)    We do, however, pick things up from those around us who are influential.   It could be a parent, friend, coworker, neighbor, friend, or child.

It's true! If you spend a significant amount of time with anyone, whether a positive or negative influence, eventually you will probably start picking up phrases and in some situations even habits from them.

For example, after becoming a youth pastor I found myself saying things like: "Check out this sweet action."  ... I know, right?    Now in a youth pastor/ youth group situation who is the primary influencer?  Hopefully the pastor... but the influence does not just happen one way.  Both parties influence each other - it might not be planned, but it happens.

This week I want you to pay attention to influence.  First pay attention to who is watching you - who is learning from your actions and attitudes, and seeing how you respond to different good and bad situations.  And then pay attention to your influencers.  What are you doing because you were told "this is the thing to do?"  (Side note - I'm very ok with Oprah retiring.)  Whose influence is reflected in the words you say, and the attitude that you have?  Sometimes people that we haven't seen in years are still a driving force in our behavior - it may be time to kill that influence.  Pay attention because, like in the futuristic novel 1984, we are all being watched.  Well, not at all like that but...   You get it.  You get it.

Christian Chameleons

There's a show on TV right now about a "regular" family that lives in a small town in Indiana.  In this family there is a teenage girl.  This girl is all but unknown by everyone outside of her family, three or four classmates, and a few others.  It's kind of a running joke - the mom will ask a teacher or coach about Sue, and they will have no idea who she is.  Funny - right?  When it happens on the show it is so awkwardly sad that it is impossible to not feel absolute compassion for this fictional character.  The amazing thing is that, somehow, amidst being rejected by nearly all of the outside world, Sue somehow turns everything around and can truly find something bright and happy through it.  She refuses to let others influence her view on life.

I wish I was like that.  I wish I could live ignorant of the world's opinion of me and simply live the life that I'm called to live.

Sometimes I care too much about how I'm perceived by others, so I change my behavior or attitude to better match what seems appropriate.  I want everyone to like me.  But as Christians we are called to stand apart- not to be chameleons who can blend in or hide out when it's convenient.  This is difficult in itself, but the problem is that is not just the world that we hide our true selves from; it can often be other believers as well.

Our fear of rejection problem can manifest itself it two difficult ways.

1.  We don't want to be rejected because of our faith among non-believers so we hide our beliefs and have started down the path of compromising (a whole topic in itself for another time).
2.  We don't want to be rejected because of our sin among believers so we hide it and don't get the help that a community can provide.


The push an pull from these two groups of people can drive you crazy.  We are trying to hide sins from one group so they accept us, and show our sins to the other so they accept us.  This can't be right.

Is it possible for us to live an honest, transparent, and uncompromising life and not be rejected by anyone?  Maybe, maybe not - but regardless of what others think - that is the life we are all called to live.

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting what is behind I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which  God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven." - Philippians 3:13 - 14

We aren't perfect yet, but we can't allow imperfections to keep us from continuing to pursue God's working in our life.  We can't  let fear of rejection from people who question our beliefs or our weaknesses to make us lose sight of the one who accepts all who are willing to come to Him. Even though, to Him, nothing is hidden.  He sees us as we are, and still loves us.   Something powerful can happen when we allow others to see what God is doing inside of us.  The question is: Can we be a people that is willing to take the risk of rejection in order to be the light of the world?

How to become a perfect failure.

^"Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:12

If you are like me, at the completion of reading the above passage of scripture, you are probably humming "Eye of the Tiger" and have started planning your workout regimen of prayer and bible reading so that you can 'beat the bus' in life's spiritual marathon.  This is a great verse... it's an inspiring verse - but there's another verse that I believe we should always read directly following it.

 ^"And He has said to me, 'grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

This is complicated. We have two verses, both written by Paul: one speaks of striving towards perfection and the other one talks about boasting about weakness.  So are we supposed to try to be perfect or boast about weakness: both.  (Boasting, might be a bit strong here: "Hey guys, check out how angry I get!")  The point here is that we are made perfect through God's grace - it's not something we could do by our self.  We should strive to become more like Christ, but we need to realize it is not our doing.


I have been wrestling with an idea for a couple of weeks now.  What if it's because of this balance (being perfect vs. showing weakness) that the church is so often viewed as "a bunch of hypocrites" (and quite correctly sometimes)?  Maybe the problem isn't that we make mistakes - but that we so painstakingly (and unsuccessfully) try to hide them.  It's almost as if we are trying to hide the grace of God in our lives.   Instead of hiding our imperfections we should be showing how God takes them and redeems them. We do need to put sin behind us and move forward - but we should not hide the grace that God has shown us. 

We don't like scars because they are ugly and remind of us past pain, but scars also show something else - healing.   It's my opinion that we should be sharing Jesus with the world through our love, but also through our scars.   People can relate to pain, they can't relate to perfection. I am positive that no one has ever looked at me and said: "how can I reach that level of perfection?" (And for obvious reason.)  However, if I can show them the grace that Jesus has shown me in my weakness, that's different.  Grace is something that every imperfect person craves.

I have some more thoughts on this subject, but I'm interested in what you think... so let's hear it.

Remote Controlled Life

A few years ago, some good friends gave us the gift of Tivo.  Tivo changed the way we watch TV.  In the little amount of time we have to sit down and watch a show, we no longer have to settle for the junk that is currently on, or mess with VHS tapes.  I simply hit record for a particular show before it starts, and then I watch it when I want to.  I am in control. Speaking of control - the remote for Tivo is incredible.  You can pause, fast forward, rewind, and even go into slow motion with this thing.  When watching a football game, the Tivo remote gives me the capability to find out if a pass play really was a completion or not well before the officials. 

There is something dangerously compelling about control.  Once you taste it, it's hard to rely on anyone or anything else -and why would we?  If it is possible to simply choose a plan, do it the way we want, and get the results we want - why would we ever do anything different?  This is, in fact, what a lot of us try to do.  We do what we want, the way we want it done, but when we don't get the results we want everything falls apart.  We find out that maybe we aren't in control after all, and we hate it.

-We spend months trying to sell a house, or find a job, or reaching out to unsaved family members, and no matter what we do - we don't get what we want.

One of the most important passages of Scripture for me in the past few years comes from the book of James.  The author writes...

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.' Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.' (James 4:13 - 15, NASB)

The obvious message here is that we should seek God's plan instead of own, but it also teaches us something about disappointment.

Most, if not all, of our disappointments come from our own unmet expectations.  Of course there are times when we fail God, or family, or friends and we need seek forgiveness.  BUT, a lot  of our disappointment comes because we have this terrible compulsion to be in control - and we're not. 

I just re-read a part of a book where the author talks about this very thing.  He says: "I want desperately for things to go 'how they're supposed to.'  Which is another way of saying 'how I want them to,' which is another way of saying 'according to my plan" (Rob Bell, Drops like Stars). 

We all do this don't we?  The question is, why do we allow ourselves to add all of this extra stress, and disappointment, and sadness by creating plans that I can't and shouldn't try to pull off?

We need to truly say "God, I'm here.  I don't know where you're taking us, or why nothing is working out the way I thought it would, but I know that You are in control - and so I'm going to quit trying to make things happen myself and will trust that you'll bring us through."

Just one more cookie

I have a problem... it involves delicious food.  The problem is that as long as it is around I eat it.  Try as I may to eat in a more healthy fashion, if there are tasty treats to be found, soon there will not be.  There was a time in my life when I could get by eating whatever I wanted - however the clothes in my closet (that are apparently shrinking) are telling me to increase my intake of vegetables. 

This past week Alissa made some appreciation gifts that included some incredible desserts.  I have probably eaten my weight in these things... they are amazing.  My intuition tells me I need to stop (or maybe it's my belt), but I keep convincing myself that as soon as they're gone I'll start eating more healthy, but there always seems to be just one more cookie around.   I keep saying "This is the last time, then I'll be better."

We do this spiritually too.

There is that one area of our life that keeps coming back to haunt us.  We know it isn't healthy, we know that it has the potential to destroy us - but we trick ourselves into thinking that "this is the last time and then I'll stop for real."

I was talking to someone a few years back that had lost a lot of weight.  He said that it wasn't his particular diet that made him keep his weight off, but how he changed his mind set.  Instead of saying "this is the diet that I will use to lose weight," he said: "this is the way I eat now."  He simply changed the way he thought about eating.

The bible says similar things about how our life needs to change when we surrender to God.  Romans 12:2 states: "Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."  It's not enough to try to stop sinning, we are transformed when our mind is renewed - when we look at things a different way, so we can allow God to transform us.

My father-in-law once pointed out that we should all just force ourselves to eat in a more healthy way, because an hour after you eat - you aren't still savoring that delicious fried chicken, you can no longer taste it.  (If you can you probably need to brush your teeth.)   For all your taste buds know, you have just completed a giant salad.  The only difference is that now you feel guilty.  Whenever I turn down junk food for carrots, I feel pretty good about myself.  How much greater do I feel when I can turn down the one more "cookie" in my life?

The bible says a lot of things about temptation - but the most important one for us is that God will never let you be tempted more than you are able to resist.  (Also know that it is not God tempting you, ever - see James 1:13.) Temptation is an opportunity, however, for God to see if you are willing to do what you say you will do.  The good news is that God is not a boss who is floating around with a clipboard, marking off all of the things you do wrong, or all the assignments you don't finish.  He is the
Dad sitting in the fan section of the bleachers yelling "you can make it" as you approach the next hurdle.  This doesn't mean that we can make all the mistakes we want and that God overlooks our sin - but it does mean that He is on your side.

The Narcoleptic Professor

For those of you on facebook you probably know about the "suggested friends" section on your home page.  As I was reading through the various status updates yesterday I noticed that an old professor of mine was a suggested friend (and he still is).  This particular professor is now retired, and rightfully so, since he was teaching when my grandfather attended North Central.  He is probably the most famous professor at NCU, and for several reasons.  First, this guy is a spiritual bear of a man.  If you know him you are probably nodding your head knowingly.  If you don't, just picture Smokey the bear -but replace the hat with a tie and his shovel with a bible... and beat stick (he's old school).  The second reason he is well known is that for about the past 40 years (give or take 30) he has been known as the professor who can be so boring that he, quite literally, puts himself to sleep (ok, maybe it's not boredom that puts him out). 

I myself was in a class, and while standing in front of everyone listening to a presentation, my professor's eyes slowly closed and an odd buzzing noise started in his throat.  Sure enough, the old bear went into hibernation right in front of us.  Two young gentlemen sitting a few rows ahead of me looked at each other, and in an instant grabbed their things and bolted from the room.  The entire class laughed at their audacity (secretly wanting to run after them).  The laughter must have shaken the professor from his sleep because he suddenly roared back to life.  He quickly scanned the room and saw the missing seats.  He gruffly asked for the names of the two escape artists, and after receiving them said: "Well those two have just failed my class.  Make sure you do not follow in their footsteps."  What!  This guy basically failed these two guys for not wanting to stick around to watch the drool soak his tie.   It just doesn't seem fair.

Whether or not it's fair isn't what I'm interested in.  I am interested in how he reacted.  Given a difficult situation how do you react?  The truth is my old professor was most likely extremely embarrassed by his little bear-nap (he was nothing like a cat) and reacted out of his embarrassment.  We all do the same thing from time to time.  If we feel like we are being treated unfairly or taken advantage of, we snap.  The problem is that we need to be different. 

Proverbs 25:28 says: "A man who does not control his temper is like a city whose wall is broken down."  I think that if there is one way that Christians should always stand out (and rarely do), it should be how we react and respond in difficult situations.  Instead of lashing out, or blaming others, we need to remember to show love, patience, and faith.  We need to trust that everything will work out, because it will. 

Difficult situations happen all the time at work, or church, or home.  No matter how bad something is I know that God will work it out.  That's nice for me, but what about the other person?  What does my reaction to them show them about God's grace and love for us?  What does it say about my character?Why do Christians fight, scream, whine, and complain just as much as everyone else?

Instead of slandering and complaining about a certain politician - we should pray for them because we are told that they are placed in authority by God.

Instead of giving someone the evil eye in a parking lot for cutting you off - we should be quick to forgive, because seriously it's just driving.

Instead of calling the youth pastor to complain about an error - you should get him gift card, and then forgive him for greedily asking for it.


I dare you to monitor your reactions to people for one single day.  How do you react to mean people, to annoying people, to ignorant people?  Are you showing them the love, the grace, and the patience that you have been given?  Changing how you react to hard times can be a difficult process, but is necessary if we are to be the true reflection of Jesus.

New Blog

I still think blogs are weird.  I don't understand them. I don't know why we make or read them; but I really enjoy them.  This new blog won't be much different than my old blog.  In fact, the only reason I'm starting this blog is that I felt to tied down in subject matter by the previous blogs title.  The title, in my opinion, was also a little too negative sounding - and since I was hoping to encourage people through it, it seemed a bit too unwelcoming.  Although I like to read things that are a bit controversial from time to time, I probably wouldn't read a book entitled: Let me tell you why you're a bad person (actually, I probably would). Anyway, here are my current thoughts - I hope they encourage, challenge, uplift, and frighten you in appropriate amounts.